A Beast's Kiss
by Time Cutter
Summary: For the Great and Noble Paprika's OoC Contest. "They call her the Beast. The Monster. And I have no idea why my fellow Smashers, most of them, call her that. She looked normal to me. But when she almost killed me today, I completely changed my view about her."


The beast. That's what they call _her_. Though I'm not sure why us fellow Smashers call her that, but I'm guessing that if I _don't_, they'd start assuming that I loved her or something.

No, I love Lady Palutena. There's no way I would fall for anyone else, right?

...Lady Palutena, are you reading my mind for fun again?

Hmm.

No response? Either you're really not reading my mind, or you're trying to pretend that you're not reading at all. Nice trick. I'll have to get Viridi to help me make you admit the truth later. If you were reading my mind, that is.

"Pit, for heaven's sake, snap out of it!"

I blink my eyes twice. "Ike? W-What happened, is Skyworld in danger because I thought about something too much?"

He shook his head. "I don't mean _your_ heaven."

"So the true heaven is literally in dange-"

"No, Pit! It's just a phrase! Or... sentence. Or something."

Ike shook his head.

"So..." I began. "Why did you drag me away?"

He looked at me, crazy. "Dude, Samus entered the room!" he exclaimed. "That monstrous woman that defeated Bowser with a single kick, that woman that sent _Ganondorf_ to Doctor Mario's infirmary for _four weeks_, that demon who gave Wolf a very serious fear of FEMALES!" the blue-haired mercenary yelled at me.

I raised a hand. "Uhhh... Ike?"

"And that's not all!" he continued without listening to me. "Remember that time where she literally broke Marth's rapier with A FRICKIN' PEANUT!?"

She did? Hm. Well, I hope Ike actually knew that I wasn't there to see it. Oh well. "Ike..."

"And that time where she kicked Falcon on the face, _THROUGH THE FRICKIN' WALL!_"_  
_

I sighed. "Ike?"

He stopped. "What?"

I sweat-dropped. "One, we're outside the kitchen, with no doors, so Samus could probably hear you."

He face-palmed. Then smirked. "Well, we better run then."

"We?"

"Of course! We're buddies, right?" he asked.

I shrugged. Not that it had anything to do with me, nor does it even relate to the matter.

"Two... she's standing right behind you." I added.

He swalloed nervously.

"And her eyes are burning." I noted, noticing the angry sparking flame inside her eyes.

"S-S-Samus... I, I can explain!" Ike yelled.

"_**EXPLAIN**** THEN.**_"

Of course, Ike stumbled for words. I'd laugh at him here, but he's about to be murdered. I think, according to what he told me about Samus.

Suddenly, the 'good friend of mine' turned around and made a chance to escape-

-"_**OH NO ****YOU**** DON'T!**_"-

-and had his head impaled into the wall of the hallway. Funny. Why did I think that? 'Cause that's where Master Hand's office was. And I swear, I could've heard him said 'S'up, Musstaa Hando?' while raising his hands.

Then he proceeded to lose consciousness.

Samus turned towards me.

Her blonde hair swirled around in the air as she turned very violently-

-and I suddenly found my back crashing against the wall opposite to Ike's wall.

Her hands clutched around my throat. I.. I couldn't breath in, and I was trying my hardest _not_ to breath out.

"S-S-Sam...us...!"

"**_I'LL KILL YOU._**" she hissed, leaning in closer to me. Her cold eyes were enough to make me feel scared like hell.

I struggled to get free, but to no avail. "S-Samus! I... I had not...hing... to do.. with him!" I coughed out, my air supply depleting.

Nothing happened. Her hands still clutched onto my neck, squeezing tightly. Her eyes still cold, with a burning spark.

"I-I swear! Pl...ease... d-don't... hurt me..." I muttered, loud enough for her to hear.

I was surprised to feel tears leak out my eyes. Am I... am I crying?

At that moment, I thought that I was going to be completely done for. Good bye, Lady Palutena... good by, Viridi... bye, Mario... Kirby... Link...

...Zelda... that ninja dude or chick... I started getting hiccups, during crying. That only made it more painful for me, as her hands were _still_ gripping my neck tightly.

...when will she do it? This is just torturing. Is she going to kill me now, or suffocate me to death?

"I'MSORRY!" I shouted, _still_ crying. Pft, I doubt it would help-

...mmph?

Is Samus... is Samus k-ki... _kissing me?_

Her grip suddenly softened. She kept her lips onto mine for a long while, before finally letting go of me. She smiled at me. "You're an interesting guy... wanna come to my room to talk after dinner?" she suddenly asked.

I widened my eyes. Was she inviting me? The Samus who everyone feared... was inviting me for whatever she needed? I blurted out so suddenly, "O-Okay!" and quickly closed my mouth. "I- I mean..."

The bounty hunter winked at me. "I'll be expecting you then!" and walked away.

I stared at her as she disappeared.

And touched my lips.

...did I... did I like Samus?

A gasp.

I heard a gasp.

Or some kind of breath-taking jaw-drop.

I turned around and saw Peach and Zelda, who I'm pretty sure had seen the whole thing.

And I knew what was gonna happen next.

"A-Ah! It's, it's not what it seems like!"

Peach turned a bit red, her jaws still dropped. Zelda covered her mouth, blinking occasionally, very red.

"I mean, umm, it... was, ummm..."

More stares.

Then Peach turned around. Grabbed Zelda's arms.

And ran away.

I sighed. At least they're gone...

"EVERYONE! SAMUS LIKES PIT! PIT LIKES SAMUS! THEY KISSED!"

Oh snap.


End file.
